Today has been a very tough day, to say the least. I received some bad news this morning and have been feeling depressed for the majority of the morning/early afternoon. The worst thing is that whenever something bad happens and I’m sad, my first reaction (yes, even now) is to eat. It’s hard. I want to run to a store and buy some ice cream and cookies and chocolate and you name it. That’s what I’ve done the majority of my life. That’s always been my first solution. Post-op, this is not really an option, anymore. It’s weird. I’ve attempted to binge post-op only twice and it was AWFUL. But, I still think it’s curious that food seems to be my number one go-to thing, even knowing what I can and cannot eat. Anyway, so feeling as shitty as I was I went to the supermarket and I was able to pick up some groceries without going too crazy. I did pick up some dark chocolate because I need something sweet to make me smile (there I go again with the crazy food fixation). While I was there I weighed myself and noticed that I’ve lost 3lbs since I started counting calories and have been keeping up with my blog.
So, that’s my silver lining. After seeing the numbers on that scale I was able to smile, and things have gotten better throughout the day. I didn’t have to go and pig out to feel better, all I had to do is see what just a little bit of effort and encouragement had made me accomplish. It’s tough, my attachment to food, but I think if I keep working at it I’ll soon be able to have another reaction besides eating whenever I’m feeling sad. How about you? Do you think you run to food the minute things don’t look so good?