I went to my grandparent’s for lunch today, my Grandma had some yummy beans and a salad ready. I wasn’t able to finish all that but it was good! My family still has a hard time understanding my portion sizes. We’re Colombian, so we usually eat a lot (specially for lunch) and my grandparents always get so confused when I don’t finish what’s on the plate.
“But I served you only a little!” My Grandma will exclaim in spanish, and I have to explain that really, I am full. “What about a little bread?” No, Grandma. “Coffee?”
Sigh. It’s hard, I tell you, but they are very sweet about it. Everyone kept telling me that I’m starting to look like I’m looking thinner, which was nice. See, another thing about being Colombian; my family is very blunt. As in, you come over for Thanksgiving dinner and you aren’t even completely through the door yet when you have one of your aunts (I have many aunts and uncles! My family is huge!) welcoming you in by saying “Oh my God, you’ve gotten fatter!” and expecting you to not to be the slightest bit offended.
It was tough growing up hearing I was fat all the time, and it helped with me relying on food for comfort and then feeling guilty and experimenting with purging, laxatives, etc. For many years, I blamed my mother for my emotional eating and bad self esteem. I don’t, anymore. It took me a long time to realize that even though sometimes my family’s words were painful, they came from a place of concern. When they said “You’ve gotten so fat!” they meant “Wow, Kat, you are not taking care of yourself and we are worried!” I guess it was the Colombian equivalent of tough-love? Now, the way I look at it, at least I know that when they tell me I look good, they’re being honest.
Anyway, I rested my ankle today plus it was raining so I didn’t do any cardio. I have plans to go walking tomorrow morning before I go meet Mark’s mom for lunch, though, so yay! It felt so weird not working out today. I felt sluggish and, I won’t lie, vaguely paranoid that I would somehow hinder my progress by not doing anything physical. Mark says he worries when I say things like that because he doesn’t want me getting obsessed and “picking up an eating disorder.” I see it as something positive. I want my body to crave exercise. If it becomes such a routine that I don’t feel right without it, then exercise will become a part of my regular habits and that can ensure that it’s something I do for life! I want to be fit for life, you know?
So, on that note, I gotta get to bed so I can wake up early tomorrow.
Here are today’s stats:
Cal-1207 / Carbs-157g / Fat-34g / Protein-44g (bad girl!)