After spending a miserable night tossing and turning with really bad dreams, this morning I made a promise to myself to chill the hell out and stop obsessing. All night, I kept having these weight-related horrible dreams; things like me waking up to realize I’d gained all my weight back overnight. Between the bad dreams and a comment Mark made on Friday, “Can’t we have one night where you don’t call yourself fat or talk about your weight?” I’ve realized that this has gone beyond just me bordering on unhealthy to full-on obsession that is not only affecting my daily life but the lives of those around me. This is the stuff eating disorders are made of, my friends, and I’m not going down that path.
My plan is basically to keep counting calories and up my cardio and just focus on the upcoming 5k for the next two weeks, without weighing myself. After the 5k on May 7th, I’ll allow myself to check my weight and then proceed from there. I think it sounds like a good plan.