Ch-Ch-Changes!

Goodbye, GoGoT, you were fun while you lasted.

Yep, I will no longer be doing Game of Thrones on the TV Recaps section

BUT

I will be doing Louie! Yay!

And some other shows TBA in the fall so yay.

Also, I promise I will have an actual blog post soon.

Here’s what’s going on in my household right now:

Mark walked to the kitchen singing “It’s raining men” and Francesca, sitting next to me yelled, “No, daddy,” quite angrily, “Banana!”

The Girl Goes Corporate (A Story With Pictures!)

As you all well know by now I have been adamant about having purple hair, no matter what. I even went so far as dyeing it black once for an interview, getting the job and then re-bleaching and going back to purple in less than 3 weeks, risking tons of damage. Purple. Fo. Lyfe.

Happy Times!

But, as Robert Frost taught us, nothing gold can stay. And this isn’t The Outsiders and I’m definitely NOT a Ponyboy, come on, I would’ve totally been Sodapop, OK? (Although secretly I would have thought myself a Dallas … doesn’t everyone?)

Anyway, back to the point. There comes a time in every starry-eyed, purple-haired young girl’s life when she has to grow up and realize that she is now an “adult” woman and needs a job where she needs to make big money because of stupid “adult” things like bills and the people at this job tell her she needs to get rid of her beloved, beautiful hair. And no lie, you guys, she dies a little inside. (And she realizes she’s being a little dramatic about the whole thing but, come on, the hair is just so pretty!)

So, I did it. I did it for the money! (God, I love the drama of this post.) I did it because I had to. I made Mark go with me to Target and look through hair dye boxes for like 45 minutes (“But am I a dark burgundy or. like, just a regular burgundy”) until the man looked like he would either cry or throttle me (probably both, at the same time.) prior to finding something I thought would both please people at work and still feed the little rebellious teenage girl who will always live within me. That bitch won’t shut up.

I know you’re dying with anticipation, so here it is, the whole process (because like all teenage girls, my inner one is also obnoxious):

Sullen, I await The Change

Sullen, I await The Change. I’m totally singing “The Sword of Damocles” in my mind.

 

And then, 45 minutes later, it was done. I walked into the shower and rinsed of the hairdye and totally did that thing where you try to guess the color of the wet hair you just dyed by holding it up to the light coming through the bathroom window but of course you can’t tell shit cuz it’s wet. Don’t lie, you know you’ve done it. I was especially anxious to see the results because I have lighter-bleached hair up front and had no idea how the whole thing would come out. This is what it looked like last night after it dried:

Not so bad. Never mind the little bruise on my forehead. Still healing here.

Not so bad, huh? Never mind the little bruise on my forehead. Still healing here. Vitamins and rest are my friends!

I'm actually doing these while chatting with the GoGoT girls from TheFlounce.Com! Ha!

I’m actually doing these while chatting with the GoGoT girls from TheFlounce.Com! Ha! That was so awesome!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the real test would come the following day, under the brightest light of all…. THE LIGHT OF THE SUNN!! (Pretend I screamed the whole sun thing in a total Metal voice, it adds to the drama. Do it.)

Alright so far, like a black cherry...

Hmm, like a black cherry…

Yes, I think I like this….

I can still kinda punk it up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait a minute…

Wait a minute ... This hair color is GLORIOUS!

This hair color is GLORIOUS!

All right, all right, so I kind of cheated. I can’t let the shade of violet or purple out of my life forever, you know? I did say Fo. Lyfe.  I meant that. So when I found that Vidal Sassoon has this whole line of permanent hair color called The London Luxe Collection, with a color called Deep Velvet Violet and I read reviews that it wasn’t too purpley but it was violet enough in the sun, I was like “Daaassss ittt!!” (I’m so sorry for that link, it’s so offensive but it kills me.) Anyway, this hairdye is awesome and it looks totally different in different lighting, it’s chameleon hair! Here, I’ll show you:

hair6 hair13 hair12 hair11

These were all taken driving while Mark drove around like at 5PM, and I had WAY too much fun doing it!

So, thus concludes my epic story of how I simply dyed my hair a different shade of violet and made you all read a really long blog post about it and gave me excuse to overload you with selfies. I mean, ahem, this was about discovering how I can still be my rebellious self even if I have to grow up and blah blahdy blah blah something, I turned thirty last year blah blah enlightenment. There you go. Deep stuff! We’ve all learned something! the-more-you-know-nbc

 

 

 

But seriously, this is the best color ever!

But seriously, this is the best color ever!

Why Do Clothing Stores Hate My Boobs? (Yes, I’m taking it personally)

It’s ridiculous, really.  We are bombarded with commercial’s for Victoria’s Secret super duper push-up bras, and it almost seems like everyone on TV/Movies has large breasts (with tiny frames!) yet I go to an H&M or Urban Outfitters or hell, even Macy’s and for the life of me, my 38D’s don’t fit in shit! Dresses are the worst. I get the size I’m supposed to be and it’s all honky dory with the zipper until BOOM! BOOBS! Damn thing won’t close. It is so frustrating. I feel like I have lost all this weight and should be enjoying all these cute dresses but nooo, my boobs won’t fit anywhere! I have to get like a XL-XXL and then the rest of the dress looks ridiculous. I always leave stores feeling so unhappy and like that fat girl I used to be. But then I can’t shop in the Plus Size section because everything is huge and, let’s face it, hideous (at least the places I’ve seen). Yeah, what’s up with designers and ridiculous loud patterns for Plus Sizes? Do they want to shame fat people by only making ugly clothes?

H%M "Plus Size" Dress

H%M “Plus Size” Dress

How in the living fuck is this woman plus sized?? Where are my boobs supposed to fit in there??
I swear, the whole fashion industry is so fucked. THEY ARE LOSING MONEY BY ALIENATING THOUSANDS OF CUSTOMERS!!!!!

Did you guys hear about these “real women” mannequins in Sweden? They come in a size 6 and a size 10 (mind you, the “average woman” is a size 12-14) and everyone is oohing and aahhing over how progressive this is and how these look like “real women.” First of all, they just look like slightly bigger mannequins; second of all, I am tired of all this “real women” crap. We are ALL REAL WOMEN, made of FLESH & BLOOD. We need to stop making this line between thin and not thin women and saying that one is better than the other. Also, I think we should have all kinds of mannequins with all types of bodies. I bet you I won’t look like that mannequin at a size 10 (that tall Swedish bitch -JK … kinda.) and neither do a lot of women who wear that size. Designers are missing out on customers by ignoring people beyond a size 6. It’s ridiculous! We are all fucking different, why can’t fashion reflect that? I guess I just don’t understand it. I’ve always heard the adage of “dress the body you have, not the one you wish you had” but do you know how difficult it is to dress my body? And I know I’m not the only one, either. My friend  and I once got into this long conversation about how we love all these adorable dresses on ModCloth.com but there’s no way we fit in them, even their “plus sizes.” And you know what it comes down to? That’s right: BOOBS. Why is it so difficult to find a dress that fits ALL OF ME?!

OK. Rant Over.

I just want some pretty dresses, dammit.

 

 

 

Do you guys have issues finding clothing that fit a specific part of your body?

Happy Eat What You Want Day

So, after Leslie did a post on this unusual holiday, I took myself to the movies with a couple of girlfriends and watched Something Borrowed which was actually pretty cute.

I treated myself to the theater’s “kid pack” which had soda, popcorn and chocolate…

What type of child eats this?! Look at how much food that is! Only $5, though so not bad 😀