Why Do Clothing Stores Hate My Boobs? (Yes, I’m taking it personally)

It’s ridiculous, really.  We are bombarded with commercial’s for Victoria’s Secret super duper push-up bras, and it almost seems like everyone on TV/Movies has large breasts (with tiny frames!) yet I go to an H&M or Urban Outfitters or hell, even Macy’s and for the life of me, my 38D’s don’t fit in shit! Dresses are the worst. I get the size I’m supposed to be and it’s all honky dory with the zipper until BOOM! BOOBS! Damn thing won’t close. It is so frustrating. I feel like I have lost all this weight and should be enjoying all these cute dresses but nooo, my boobs won’t fit anywhere! I have to get like a XL-XXL and then the rest of the dress looks ridiculous. I always leave stores feeling so unhappy and like that fat girl I used to be. But then I can’t shop in the Plus Size section because everything is huge and, let’s face it, hideous (at least the places I’ve seen). Yeah, what’s up with designers and ridiculous loud patterns for Plus Sizes? Do they want to shame fat people by only making ugly clothes?

H%M "Plus Size" Dress

H%M “Plus Size” Dress

How in the living fuck is this woman plus sized?? Where are my boobs supposed to fit in there??
I swear, the whole fashion industry is so fucked. THEY ARE LOSING MONEY BY ALIENATING THOUSANDS OF CUSTOMERS!!!!!

Did you guys hear about these “real women” mannequins in Sweden? They come in a size 6 and a size 10 (mind you, the “average woman” is a size 12-14) and everyone is oohing and aahhing over how progressive this is and how these look like “real women.” First of all, they just look like slightly bigger mannequins; second of all, I am tired of all this “real women” crap. We are ALL REAL WOMEN, made of FLESH & BLOOD. We need to stop making this line between thin and not thin women and saying that one is better than the other. Also, I think we should have all kinds of mannequins with all types of bodies. I bet you I won’t look like that mannequin at a size 10 (that tall Swedish bitch -JK … kinda.) and neither do a lot of women who wear that size. Designers are missing out on customers by ignoring people beyond a size 6. It’s ridiculous! We are all fucking different, why can’t fashion reflect that? I guess I just don’t understand it. I’ve always heard the adage of “dress the body you have, not the one you wish you had” but do you know how difficult it is to dress my body? And I know I’m not the only one, either. My friend  and I once got into this long conversation about how we love all these adorable dresses on ModCloth.com but there’s no way we fit in them, even their “plus sizes.” And you know what it comes down to? That’s right: BOOBS. Why is it so difficult to find a dress that fits ALL OF ME?!

OK. Rant Over.

I just want some pretty dresses, dammit.

 

 

 

Do you guys have issues finding clothing that fit a specific part of your body?

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What I Have Learned About Fat Acceptance

I spoke vaguely about the Fat Acceptance Movement on a previous entry, but felt that I hadn’t really done it justice because I wasn’t too informed on it myself. So, instead the entry ended up sounding more like a “Waah, poor me, fat girls are mean to me” rant. Not feeling too satisfied with that post, I’ve been reading up a bit more on the subject because I feel that I need to see what the other end of the spectrum is like. So, after a whole week of researching the subject, these are the few things I have taken away from it.

Fat is NOT a Bad Word – This is something that was very clear since the beginning of my reserarch. If you’re fat, then you call yourself fat and you own it! No curvy, voluptuous, plus-sized or any other euphemisms are allowed. “Fat” is a neutral-value word that just means what it means. I find that both empowering and kind of scary at the same time. For my entire life I lived afraid of being called fat and just really hating everything that meant: a life of feeling ugly, undesirable, and depressed. To question all that now feels very liberating but it definitely takes some getting used to.

Fat Does Not Automatically Mean Unhealthy – This is a big one. As blogger Kate Harding writes: “Weight itself is not a health problem, except in the most extreme cases (i.e., being underweight or so fat you’re immobilized). (…) Poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle do cause health problems, in people of all sizes.” It is definitely something that I’ve heard all my life; from doctors, my parents, family, everyone: If you’re fat then you’re unhealthy. Hell, I was a firm believer of that too. But this is something that has been questioned in every Fat Acceptance article I’ve read. It goes hand in hand with the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement; which according to author Linda Bacon, PhD “acknowledges that good health can best be realized independent from considerations of size. It supports people—of all sizes—in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors.” While I agree that poor eating and exercise habits equal being unhealthy (as that is exactly what happened to me: I ate a lot of fast food and never worked out and constantly over-ate and ended at 320 lbs); I find it a little hard to believe that someone who is active and a healthy eater would be 320 lbs, you know what I mean? And I struggle, because I wonder, is that my personal belief or what I’ve been taught to believe by society? I guess the fact that I’m questioning my beliefs is a good thing, because I’m using my brain and not automatically believing what I’ve been fed all my life. But I definitely agree on the whole HAES thing, because I think everyone should practice healthy eating habits and get into exercise as well, not only do you live longer but you enjoy life, and who doesn’t love that?

Fat People Don’t Need Your Concern Trolling – Concern Trolling refers to people who feign concern for you and give you backhanded comments such as “You look great, have you lost weight?” therefore insulting what you looked like when you were heavier. Or giving you unrequested advice to lose weight because they are “concerned for your health.” Now, I can definitely relate to this. All my life, all kinds of people (even strangers!) have felt they had the right to give me unsolicited weight loss tips. I’m not exaggerating! I’ve had people in the supermarket recommend diets to me! I’ve had people laugh at me when I’ve ordered diet soda in the past, and I’ve had people ask me when I was going to stop “killing (myself) with food.” I’ve grown up hearing “Oh, but you have such a pretty face” even from my own family. Basically saying “Too bad the rest of you is so disgusting.” Yeah, it’s fucked up. I definitely agree that no one has the right to do that to anyone. And I will admit here that I have made stupid comments like this in the past to other overweight friends, and it didn’t always come from a genuine concern for their health. It’s sad. But I can recognize that I fucked up, and I am being a lot more mindful about eradicating my judgments of people because of their size. It’s strange to think that I was part of the problem, and basically acting out and hurting others like I had been hurt in the past. I’m not very proud of that.

Fat Acceptance is About Accepting of All Sizes and the Choices People Make About their Bodies – This was almost taken verbatim from Tasha Fierce’s Size Matters Blog because it struck such a cord with me. She goes on to say: “Note ‘acceptance’ and not ‘approval’ or ‘admiration.’ (…) fat people are not expecting you to do anything but respect them as human beings and respect that they have the right to decide what they do with their bodies. ‘My body, my choice.’ Sound familiar? Fat people should be allowed agency over their bodies without you up in their faces telling them how wrong what they’re doing is. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it.” I love that. I hate the fact that society has made it okay to pick on fat people. There was that whole Marie Claire Blog, where the author Maura Kelley goes on to say “I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.” So not only is she openly expressing disgust at fat people but also comparing being fat to being a drug addict or alcoholic. I was so enraged when I read that, that a magazine geared towards women would even PRINT that! No wonder people think it’s okay to pick on other fat people, this magazine just puts it out there! I think the stigma of being overweight is awful and definitely something worth fighting against.

So, in conclusion, although there are still some things about this that I don’t agree with (the side of this movement that is against any weight loss attempts), I certainly find myself drawn to this idea of Body Acceptance. I choose to still work my body into a healthier weight and that might make me “part of the problem” but I aren’t just working to lose weight but to be a healthier me. I do agree that we are not all the same and we are not “one size fits all,” which is why I think Health at Every Size is awesome. Lastly, I think we should all confront our own issues with fat and try and see where we stand on this topic.

I welcome any replies or comments that any of you have about this topic that I’m still very intrigued by.

Here are some links if you’re interested in reading more about the subject: