“HERE IS THE HOUSE”
If you have not watched Season Three Episode Two of Orphan Black, stop reading now.
SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! BEWARE THE SPOILERS!!
“Governed by Sound Reason and True Religion” is brimming with surprises and double-crosses. Those worried last week whether the show would be able to keep up such an intense momentum can breathe a sigh of relief, as the heightened pace now seems much more psychological than physical (well, until The Dinner From Hell). They gave answers, left us with a myriad of questions, and introduced us to New Wave Proletheans. If the show seemed crazy last year, we are entering crazy 2.0 and I am along for the ride.
What were our girls up to?
Sarah, Everyone’s waitin’, waitin’ on you:
Kira sneaks a call to Uncle Fe’s phone while being held hostage; she lets her mother know she’s okay and Art tracks the call. As Sarah heads out the door with our newest Clone Club Ally and promises their escape yet again, Fe hands her a ClonePhone 2.0 (they’re green now!)
Art and Sarah arrive at the hotel only to find they just missed them by an hour, then Sarah manages to get abducted herself (well, walks right into it). When she arrives at her destination, Siobhan is waiting for her. “What the bloody hell?” asks Sarah (along with the rest of us). Turns out Siobhan had Kira the whole time (I CALLED IT!). She staged the house being ransacked and put Sarah through hell for no other reason than paranoia.
Siobhan takes Sarah to the house where Fe, Sara and Siobhan fled to after escaping the U.K. That’s where Kira is. Siobhan’s “old network,” Barry and Brenda, seem happy (a little too happy) to see Sarah, who they remember as a child. There’s a moment of relief when Sarah is finally reunited with Kira.But not for long! Siobhan has plans of taking Kira to London—without Sarah. Sarah takes this opportunity to confront her with the Project Leda photo, but Siobhan acts as if she’s never seen it before. Kira watches them quietly from a nearby swing.
Kira recognizes the photo as one that Siobhan found while snooping through Amelia’s things. Sarah says Mrs. S sure keeps a lot of good secrets. Kira (this kid is like Yoda) soberly says “Maybe, but I don’t think so.”
Sarah and Kira exit the back door and get in an old truck with the keys still in the ignition, while The Tense Dinner continues downstairs. Interrupted by Sarah having trouble getting the truck started. Barry rushes out, shotgun in hand. Siobhan tries to stop him but Brenda is like, “I don’t think so, bitch!” and the two ladies duke it out. You don’t mess with an Irish woman who used to run weapons on the underground. Inevitably, Brenda ends up with both hands impaled to the dining table by large kitchen utensils (Very Rocky Horror!)
Brenda confesses that money was tight, so she and Barry sold the clones out to the Proletheans, and asks “Who are these cursed children?” Siobhan at least responds, “They’re Project Leda,” before blowing her head off. So the mysterious Mrs. S does have some ties to Project Leda (color me surprised … not.) Well she seems to care about Sarah and Kira . . . for now.
Alison – Keep The Balance Right:
Oh, gurrl. Alison looks expressionless at Aynsley’s funeral, even as suburban moms give her major side-eye after the whole Chad incident. Please, like these bitches aren’t having affairs on the down-low. At least Sarah doesn’t care about indiscretion and hugs her.
Alison finds a suspicious text sent to her high school sweetheart husband, Donnie: “She makes her choices. Placate her.” She freaks out in typical Alison style and grabs the first glass of white wine she sees, downing it in one gulp. When Donnie returns with the kids, she just smiles. And the Emmy goes to… (No, seriously! Tatiana Maslany!)
Fe crashes Alison’s musical rehearsal just in time to catch the director nearly molesting her (“Breathe from your sacrum,” my ass). They speak in private while drinking tiny bottles of vodka. Fe reminds her that she has a history of jumping to “monitor conclusions.” But when Alison confesses her involvement with Aynsley’s death, and mentions the text messages, Fe believes it’s possible that her husband Donnie is her monitor. Even though Alison is more on the “Drink Now, Have More Ideas Later” side of things, Fe springs into action.
The Plan (“To Catch a Monitor” Coming This Fall!) involves tricking Donnie into outing himself as her monitor, while Alison is “on the phone,” throwing in some “monitorish” words to see if he falls for the bait. Donnie overhears Alison’s “chat” (throwing in the magic word “Sarah”) and when she hangs up and leaves in a hurry, it’s obvious he bought the whole thing.
Alison meets up with Sarah at Aynsley’s grave for the set-up, and Donnie falls right into the trap. Seriously, how does Dyad pick their monitors? Shouldn’t they be sneakier? Smarter? Is Donnie’s someone’s nephew?
Alison surprises him with a smug “Hello, Donnie.” He comes up with a bullshit story, but Alison isn’t even listening. She KNOWS.
As she drinks a bottle of wine and pops some pills and calls Fe, we get the sense Alison is going to finally snap.
Cosima and the Wicked Game:
In her meeting with Delphine and Dr. Leekie, Cosima is acting all “Who, me?” when accused of “colluding with Sarah to shit-kick Rachel.” Delphine plays good girlfriend by reminding Leekie that Sarah fooled everyone, including him, whose access card he stole (Cosima’s reaction: Priceless). Delphine all smiles for Cosima–she just wants to “make crazy science with you in our new lab.” Oh so now it’s OUR lab? Does this bitch have a magical golden vagina or something? With rainbows?
As Dr. Leekie gives Shady and the Brain a tour of the Dyad Institute Research building, he reveals Cosima’s lab will be in the evil secret area. The lab looks crappy now, but she’s assured they’ll make it state of the art for her.
The girls canoodle, talking future lab décor and necessities when Rachel walks in as the HBIC. Cosima makes a crack about being the real Cosima, not the one who beat her up (“Gotta love concealer”) and Rachel keeps cool as a cucumber before kicking Delphine out (yay!) and turning to Cosima with a pragmatic smile: “So. You’re gay.” Cosima assures her that’s the least intriguing thing about her. Oh, it’s on, son!
Rachel keeps her inscrutable smile and asks Cosima how she’s feeling as she pulls out her latest blood test results (she says from her University but c’mon!) and implies that Dyad knows that Cosima is sick. Cosima wants the original genome, which everyone thinks will cure the disease, but Rachel’s all “Sorry, not sorry” since DYAD believes the issue stems from the cloning procedure.
Rachel hands her a folder with the little info they have on Sarah, and a hard drive with her sequenced genomes. Rachel wants to know why Sarah is different, and why she can have children.
Helena and the Prolethean New Order:
David Lynch has name, you guys! It’s Mark! He lives on a Prolethean Compound, led by the charismatic Henrik. They have an eerie obsession with Helena. Enough to abduct her from the hospital. It is all creepy as hell. I don’t like it.
The compound has set up a makeshift hospital room for her and look! It’s Tomas! Still, with the self-whipping, I see. Helena didn’t die because she has a rare twin-related condition with reversed organs. Helena’s heart is on the right. Tomas is all “Abomination!” and Henrik’s reaction, being New Wave Prolethean, is more like, “Neat!”
In the area where they keep the cows, Tomas reveals he has been monitoring Helena since she was twelve. When asked why he never tried to breed her, Tomas is again crying, “Abominations! Monsters!” Henrik quotes Einstein: “Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind.” Which distracts Tomas long enough for Mark to sneak up behind him and execute him, “No Country for Old Men” style. Henrik smiles and says, “It’s a brand new day.”
Guys, I don’t think he’s talking about Valtrex.
● Cosima has perhaps been listening to my shouts to the TV (or Alison in the preview) but she seems to have doubts about trusting Delphine.
● The New Order Prolethean Sect may just be a cover for a Polygamist Compound.
● Alison loses it, magnificently.