Orphan Black Season 2 Episode 3

“Black Celebration”

If you have not watched Season 2 Episode 3 of Orphan Black, don’t read this because there will be spoilers!

For the love of Cthulhu, where do I even begin? This could be the most melancholy episode of this series to date, yet “Mingling Its Own Nature With It” was full of revelations, quietly terrifying moments, and a crazy cliffhanger!

Sarah, Far From Any Road:

"Oh, it's such a perfect day ... I'm glad I spent it with you?"

“Oh, it’s such a perfect day … I’m glad I spent it with you?”

After pulling a con on a store clerk using little Kira so they could eat, Sarah decides grifter life isn’t suited for her daughter. Really, NOW you’re beginning to figure this out, Sarah? Anyway, they break into an “empty” cabin that happens to belong to a guy named Cal and three questions arise the minute he comes home: “OMG is that Daario Naharis?” -Me; “You brought us to the house of one of your marks?!” – Fe; “Are you my daddy?” -Kira. The answer to all those questions? YES.

So ... Confusing ... Feelings ...

So … Confusing … Feelings …

Fe leaves, sadly realizing his life is elsewhere, but not before giving Sarah a piece of his mind: it’s messed up that she always knew who Kira’s father was (while telling Fe otherwise) and taking them to his cabin was premeditated. She defends herself half-heartedly,  and maybe she felt Kira needed to meet her father, but did it have to be now? My problem with Sarah this week is that I think she’s being incredibly self-centered. She knows that DYAD/Rachel and the Proletheans are looking for her, yet now she chooses to go visit sexy baby daddy (and have really hot sex with him? I mean the man is hot, but still).

I mean, it's not like I'd say no or anything....

I mean, it’s not like I’d say no or anything….

Why even let your daughter out of your sight for ONE SECOND? “Can I go feed the chickens?” should be answered with, “Let’s ALL go feed the chickens.” People are after you, Sarah! Think I’m paranoid? Before the Proletheans even make it to the aftermath of The Dinner From Hell, Daniel (Rachel’s Main Honcho) is there and finds a picture of Kira, which confirms he’s on the right track. Then he watches The Proletheans burn the whole place to the ground.

“The roast looked all right, but the veggies seem overcooked.”

“The roast looked all right, but the veggies seem overcooked.”

Daniel follows Sarah’s trail–the stolen truck, stolen food–all the way to Cal’s. And that’s when he grabs Kira, as she’s feeding the FUCKING CHICKENS! What did I JUST SAY??

“This is like parenting 101. Must keep eyes on children!”

“This is like parenting 101. Must keep eyes on children!”

She manages to get Daniel to take her instead of Kira, and he makes her drive. He calls Rachel from the car, expressing concern that Sarah has the Project Leda photo. Sarah is all threats about Kira when BAM!

 Mid-threat, from the passenger side, they collide with what looks like a big truck.

And did we skip driving 101, too?

And did we skip driving 101, too?

Then it all goes black.

Cosima and the Pieces of Jennifer’s Body:

Delphine and Cosima go poking around Dr. Leekie’s office and Cosima does a hilarious impression Dr. Leekie, but Delphine is being serious and tells Cosima there’s something she has a right to see. It’s the video diaries by a clone named Jennifer Fitzsimmons, the first clone who started showing symptoms before Katja Obinger.


As Cosima sits down to watch, Delphine appears very genuine when she tells her Jennifer died three days ago. The video diaries get progressively more depressing. Jennifer gets excited because the “wonderful” Dr. Leekie said he “could help.”  Then she’s living in DYAD, bald, throwing up, her monitor soothing her, still naïve enough to hope. In the last video, Jennifer’s eyes are haunting: “I’m going to die here.”

 Cosima says that sometimes she forgets Delphine is her monitor, and Frenchy beams at her, saying, “Good.” (There’s that shadiness!) Delphine assures Cosima that she’s being completely honest with her but that if she can’t handle it . . .

“Funny, I never forget to throw some shade.”

“Funny, I never forget to throw some shade.”

Downstairs, Cosima and Delphine must perform an autopsy of Jennifer’s body. And that’s where I would be like: “Hell to the no, you do not pay me enough for this shit!” But I am not a clone. (Or am I? Reach out to me in the comments!) It all seems to hit Cosima a little too close to home (imagine doing an autopsy on yourself).


We learn that the disease is autoimmune, yet unclassified, and that the growths seem to start in the uterine wall and spread from there, so maybe that’s why clones cannot reproduce. Cosima receives a frantic call from Alison (who has been in panic-mode–more on that later) telling her not to trust Delphine. Cosima tells her to chill, go through the motions with Donnie and break a leg; they will talk soon. Alison warns her about black bags and rabbit cages. (See? I’m not alone in my suspicions).

Alison and the Darkest Star:

“This reminds me; I should make Ramone a Thank You card.”

“This reminds me; I should make Ramone a Thank You card.”

Alison can’t STAND the sight of Donnie after last week (how she could stand the sight of him before? A mystery). Now she’s watching in disgust and waiting until the exact moment he drifts off to sleep to turn on the vacuum cleaner and start her chores. Donnie, imbecile that he is, thinks this is about the play, and tries to placate her: “Who’s my little star?” UGH! Then–because he couldn’t be any more stupid–he tries to initiate sex by saying “morning is my best time. ” REALLY, DONNIE?








Alison gives him the Look of Death and says, “I just showered.” Something tells me, Donnie, no matter what time, day or night, she’s going to have “just showered” every time you try and get near her.

At the dress rehearsal for Blood Ties Alison is screeching  “Blood in the BATHROOOOMMM!” and she’s enough of a wreck that the director stops her to say: “Let’s save that beautiful instrument for opening night and focus on dialogue.” Outside, she’s approached by Art’s new partner, Bitchface (I’ll NEVER learn her name!) who is overly friendly, telling Alison she moved nearby and asking her out to coffee. Alison is convinced she’s been sent to be her new monitor, and says “Thanks, but no thanks” and hightails it outta there.  At home—self-medicating with tiny vodka bottles and prescription pills—Alison makes her paranoid call to Cosima. Girl is on a downward spiral of self-destruction. Thanks, DONNIE.

"So, you wanna get-" "No. Bye."

“So, you wanna get-“
“No. Bye.”

The day of the play as she’s walking, there’s Bitchface again with some bullshit yoga story and Alison snaps at her to tell her bosses it didn’t work. Bitchface admits to being police and that she just wants to ask questions about Sarah Manning. Alison tells her to go away. Backstage, Alison’s chugging vodka and popping more pills than Lucille Bluth, as the audience fills the seats. Fe made it (yay!). So did Donnie (boo!).

The Giddy Edge of Light

The Giddy Edge of Light

The curtains rise and Alison is a hot mess: forgetting lines, stumbling; but the showstopper (literally) arrives when, in the middle of a musical number, she points an angry finger at Donnie and just falls right off the stage. EXIT STAGE FRONT.


I think Alison needs a clone intervention. 

Helena and the Kindness of Strangers:

“So boring, these people.”

“So boring, these people.”

Helena is hanging out in her room at the New Wave Prolethean Compound (or NWPC), just being her lovely, weird self, as Mark and the redheaded girl who brings her food, Gracie, watch from the door. Mark is enthralled by the schemes of men to make a creature such as Helena, but only God can make her fertile. Gracie just looks like, “Eww.” She goes in to feed her and tells Helena that her father, Henrik, wants her to join her family even though she’s barely human. Helena corrects her, saying she has a sister and niece. When told that Tomas went back to Europe and the dark ages, Helena smiles and says “Good Riddance.” I agree.

“You don’t have to be afraid. Just no direct eye contact, okay?”

“You don’t have to be afraid. Just no direct eye contact, okay?”

Meanwhile Art made it to the NWPC, just far enough away where he won’t be noticed –—the entry sign is the winged fish–— to take some pictures. It all looks very … Polygamist Compound-y. Meanwhile, Henrik has a little talk with Gracie which boils down to: “Don’t be afraid, God has great plans. That’s what Tomorrow is all about.”

Tomorrow? What’s happening? Guys, all that talk about breeding, and now this. I know Helena’s a murdering maniac and all, but she’s our murdering maniac, okay? No me gusta.

“She’s going to love this. I read that surprise weddings are a thing now.”

“She’s going to love this. I read that surprise weddings are a thing now.”

Oh, No. This what I was fearing. Helena wakes up dressed all in white, surrounded by the whole NWPC, also in white–save for Henrik, he’s in Black–and holy shitballs, this is one weird Prolethean Wedding Ceremony. Poor Helena is all drugged up as they join her hand and Henrik’s with a Black Ribbon and now she’s a Prolethean Sister Wife! “We are your instruments in the war for creation,” Preaches Henrik.

Next thing he’s leading the doped up Helena down a dark corridor into a room to … what, consummate the marriage? You know what? I don’t wanna know.

“You’re not going to like me very much when this drug wears off.”

“You’re not going to like me very much when this drug wears off.”



  • Alison is NOT happy and wants to see Dr.Leekie. Now.
  • Art is found by some Proletheans and they don’t seem very welcoming.
  • Helena may not be playing nice with the other sister wives.
  • We find out some more of Mrs. S’s secrets.


Thank you to http://thecloneclub.tumblr.com/ for the awesome gifs.


About the author

 Kat Pao

Kat Pao lives in South Florida with her grown up man-friend Mark, their punk rock toddler, Francesca, their saintly dog, Bruce Campbell and that fatass dick of a cat, Bela Lugosi.

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